ACE #159: That One Time I Tried Not to Believe in God…Sort of

I moved to Columbus, Ohio at the age of 22 to pursue my graduate degree at The Ohio State University.  I was literally on my own.  I had no adult supervision within three hours.  I couldn’t wait to do “whatever I was grown enough to do.”  That started with, not getting up early on Sunday mornings to attend church…anywhere!  I wasn’t really reading my Bible as much.  I didn’t really pray that much either…purposely.  I was trying to seek independence from my childhood "requirements" while under my parents’ roof.  I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to do.

For the first few weeks, I would get up on Sunday mornings and do a little bit of homework, wash some clothes, and clean the kitchen.  I would even whip up a meal.  Then I had nothing else to do.  I decided to get a job at Lerner New York (now New York & Company).  I would be scheduled for work around 2:00 p.m.-6:00 p.m.  Again, this would still leave my Sunday mornings wide open. I would turn on the radio while I was doing my housework and there it was…gospel music.  As a church musician, this was the first time – ever – that I didn’t even have to get up to go play piano at church.   

Attending church was so ingrained in me, that I just didn’t know what to do with myself otherwise.  But it wasn’t “church” that was ingrained in me as much as it was my relationship with God.  I had to really try hard not to attend church and not to be close to God.  Then I had a wakeup call.

I received a telephone call from Kentucky saying my parents and my brother were in a car accident.  The first thing I did was pray.  (I had no friends or family there really).  The God I had tried so hard to distance myself from, on purpose, was the first place I turned.  It immediately changed my perspective.  I realized that being grown enough to do whatever I wanted to do meant I would have to decide for myself if I was going to choose to have a close relationship with God.  I made up my mind to seek God more intentionally.  I began attending a church down the street.  It was one of the best praise and worship experiences of my life.  Ironically, the church musician was one of my college classmates from Kentucky State University.  I immediately felt comfortable and welcomed there. 

What an awesome surprise that God had waiting for me all along.  That is why I truly believe that God’s plan is so much greater than ours and He is always working on our behalf.  As a result of that experience, I seek God deliberately and with my whole heart!  I encourage others to do the same.

Deuteronomy 4:29

But from there you will seek the Lord your God and you will find him, if you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul.

Proverbs 8:17

I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me.

Jeremiah 29:12-14

Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.

1 Chronicles 16:11

Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!

Psalm 119:10

With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments!

Matthew 6:33

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Hebrews 11:6

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.