My
father passed away almost two months ago. Some days I wake up and I think it is
all a dream. I often ask myself questions I know the answers to like, “Did this
really happen?” or “Is he really gone forever?” The answer to both is obvious. Yes.
I’ll
be honest, I am okay with his death because he was so sick. No one ever wants
to see someone who he or she loves suffer. The reality of it, he was in pain
all the time. Cancer was ravaging his body. And, most days, I think he handled it like a champ in my eyes. By the way, I hate cancer. I don’t fully understand why he had to
go through what he went through. It leaves the age-old question, “Why do good
people suffer?” I will never have an answer for that, no matter how much time
passes. Spiritually, I was prepared for his passing. My faith has been firm. Physically, not so much...because my heart is still broken. One of my (and his) greatest joys was kissing his face when I entered or exited
a room. Actually, it was one of the last things I did before he took his last
breath.
At
the end of the day, my father, even in sickness, had a good life with my
mother, their children, and their grandchildren. He left a legacy in our local
community and beyond. Someone called him a hero. Another person referred to him
as a legend. He was a role model and mentor to many young men because he
specialized in body building and karate. They looked up to him. One man even
said that it was because of my Daddy that his son toughened up and was able to
go into the military.
This
year will be a year of “firsts”...our first holidays that we will celebrate
without him being there. Thanksgiving is quickly approaching. Christmas is right around the corner. And, I am finally starting to feel it…the anxiety that
comes with facing and navigating through “the new normal”.
One
of my dear friends lost her father a year ago around this time. She talked to
me specifically about how difficult that year of “firsts” was for her family.
She said this year would be different because she was going to be
intentional about planning activities that brought life to them because the
first year was so sad. I refuse to celebrate the holidays with the mindset or
outward appearance of doom and gloom. I will celebrate with
gratitude...and thanksgiving.
It
was my and my husband’s absolute pleasure to honor and to serve my father. Even
in the “new normal” we’ll still honor him – his memory, his legacy, and his life.
Happy
Thanksgiving, Daddy...the first "new normal".
Isaiah 61:3
and provide for those who grieve in Zion-- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.
Psalm 30:5
...weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.
