ACE #406: Everybody Can't Go!

I have learned the hard way over the years that just because you are loyal to people, doesn't mean they will be loyal to you. Just because you get someone's back doesn't mean they'll do the same. Just because you've offered immeasurable support doesn't mean they will too. But here's the thing...most folk don't think they're required to...and they're not...even if you've been friends for years.

But YOU have to make up your mind either to overlook fair weather friends (not hold them accountable) or...get new friends who share the same values about friendship. It will save you a lot of trouble, but it also shows you who has the green light to go into your next season with you (good, bad or ugly). Everybody can't go...

I wrote this a few weeks ago on my Facebook wall.  I believed it then, but I believe it more today.  When I think about the dynamics of some friendships and relationships, I am reminded of the story of Ruth.  

When Naomi loses both of her sons to war, she is left with two daughters-in-law, Orpah and Ruth.  Naomi had already lost her husband. When it was time for the two young ladies to return to their homeland, their mothers' houses, only one chose to go and the other chose to stay.  The passage specifically says that Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her.  Ruth was determined to go with Naomi, but Orpah was not.  People have commented that Orpah was selfish and disloyal.  But in reality, she wasn't required, or bound, to Naomi in any way after her own husband had died.

If you read the story, you will recognize that Orpah was NEVER meant to go with Ruth and Naomi in the first place.  You see, after Ruth and Boaz got married, they had a son named Obed.  Obed was the father of Jesse, who was the father of David, who became a great king.  It is through this lineage that the Christ-child was born:

Matthew 1

¹⁷ So all the generations from Abraham to David were fourteen generations, and from David to the deportation to Babylon fourteen generations, and from the deportation to Babylon to the Christ fourteen generations.

The reality is that some people are not meant to go the distance in your journey.  Had Orpah not separated herself from Naomi and Ruth, she just would have gotten in the way. Some say perhaps Obed would not have been born.  But we know the birth of the Christ-child was predestined. The story had to happen that way.  So, sometimes just be grateful that fair weather friends fall off. Let it be okay that they can't go into the next season with you.  Besides, you didn't need them getting in the way of Jesus anyway.  

The Genealogy of David

¹⁸ Now these are the generations of Perez: Perez fathered Hezron, ¹⁹ Hezron fathered Ram, Ram fathered Amminadab, ²⁰ Amminadab fathered Nahshon, Nahshon fathered Salmon, ²¹ Salmon fathered Boaz, Boaz fathered Obed, ²² Obed fathered Jesse, and Jesse fathered David.