ACE #177: Births, Weddings and Funerals

Over the years I’ve learned that the true character of people, particularly friends, will show up during one of three times:  the time of a child’s birth, during wedding planning, or at times of death.

Recently, I watched a family fall apart after the father died.  Everybody was fighting over money, property, and possessions.  What it revealed was the level of greed that some people have when a loved one dies.  Everybody wants their piece of the “pie” or the estate or the bank account.  I’ve seen siblings rise up against each other all because of greed and envy.  They even got into it about the type of casket the father would be buried in…

The way people around you handle these situations, in times of adversity and times of great blessing, will reveal things about someone’s true character and intentions toward you.

When we were planning our wedding, ten years ago, the enemy used anybody and everybody to try to block the union – both friends and family.  People were mad because they weren’t a part of the ceremony or weren’t invited.  Anyone that’s ever planned a wedding knows that you just can’t invite everyone and some people you will forget to invite by accident.  It is bound to happen.  But the biggest revelation was the amount of negativity that threatened to engulf us because of other people not being happy with the current state of their lives or their desire to live out their fantasies through our special day.  Suddenly, it didn't feel like our day anymore.   It was heartbreaking…but we learned the character of others and we were strengthened through the process. 

In another example, I have a friend, Mary, who really desired to be married.  She was in a relationship with a man, but didn’t know if it would ultimately lead to the altar.  When our mutual friend, Sue, got engaged, Mary did not appear to be happy for her.  She didn’t say, “Congratulations”, she avoided their weekly routine of working out at the gym, and her body language and speech changed.  Guess what happened?  Sue distanced herself from Mary and the relationship was never fully repaired.  What Sue learned was that her friendship with Mary was conditional…as long as they were in the same place at the same time, it was all good.  However, when one started to flourish or to be advanced (blessed) ahead of the other, the spirit of jealousy reared its ugly head.

Saul and David were beloved friends.  Even as anointed as Saul was, his jealousy got the best of him.  It revealed things about Saul’s character to David, but also to those under Saul's authority.

This leads to some tough questions.  If someone is your friend, aren’t they supposed to be happy for you when you get blessed?  When your friend gets blessed, aren’t you supposed to be happy for them?  It reminds me of the song, “What God Has for Me, is for me”!  We get so caught up in what others have or what others are getting/experiencing that we miss what God has for us!  Jealousy of others will cause God to remove His favor from you!

Commit to wanting what God has for you, by name, rather than envying what God gives someone else.

1 Samuel 18

⁶ After David had killed Goliath, the men of Israel returned home. The women came out of all of the towns of Israel to meet King Saul. They danced and sang joyful songs. They played lutes and tambourines. ⁷ As they danced, they sang,

“Saul has killed thousands of men.
    David has killed tens of thousands.”

⁸ That song made Saul very angry. It really upset him. He said to himself, “They are saying David has killed tens of thousands of men. But they are saying I’ve killed only thousands. The only thing left for him to get is the kingdom itself.” ⁹ From that time on, Saul became very jealous of David. So he watched him closely.

¹⁰ The next day an evil spirit that was sent by God came on Saul with power. Saul began to prophesy in his house. At that same time David began to play the harp, just as he usually did. Saul was holding a spear. ¹¹ He threw it at David. As he did, he said to himself, “I’ll pin David to the wall.” But David got away from him twice.
¹² The Lord had left Saul and was with David. So Saul was afraid of David. ¹³ He sent David away. He put him in command of 1,000 men. David led the troops in battle. ¹⁴ In everything he did, he was very successful. That’s because the Lord was with him.