ACE #192: Don't Lend What You Can't Give

lend

 

verb: lend; 3rd person present: lends; past tense: lent; past participle: lent; gerund or present participle: lending

• grant to (someone) the use of (something) on the understanding that it shall be returned.

One of the quickest ways to fall out with someone is to lend them some money.  I have seen the best of friends become enemies quickly over money. 

In Dave Ramsey's "Financial Peace" book, he writes:

When someone borrows money from another, we understand they have an obligation to repay.  A study in the dictionary will show you what this really means.  A definition of obligation is 'bound,' which is defined as 'tied; in bonds; a bound prisoner.'  The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender (Proverbs 22:7).  Don't become a prisoner or slave to debt!

My general rule is not to lend any amount of money that I can't afford to give.  For example, if I have a bill due for $150 and someone asks to borrow $50.  If I don't have an extra $50 beyond what my bill is, then the answer has to be "no".  Why?  Because if the person doesn't pay me back in a timely manner, I am left $50 short for my own debt/bill!  Be mindful, someone else's money emergency is NOT your money emergency and vice versa.  If I cannot afford to GIVE someone $50 without coming up short or missing the money, then I won't LEND them that money because when they don't pay me back I will be furious and we will fall out. I will always hang it over that person's head (subconsciously) or at least it stays in the back of my mind. Someone borrowed $100 from me 10 years ago; after two years, it became a gift.  I never said a word, but that person knows there is a debt that hasn't been fulfilled...  

If you decide to lend money, make sure the person knows it's a loan versus a gift.  My general rule goes something like this:

Them:  Can I borrow $50?
Me:  Why do you need it? (If they won't tell me, then it is an automatic "no"!)
Them:  I need to pay my phone bill.
Me:  Okay.  I will let you borrow it.  Let's be clear.  If you don't pay me back, it becomes a gift.  But you can't ever ask me to "borrow" again.  Don't say "borrow" if you don't really mean borrow.

If you are the lender, then it is your rules.  If you are the borrower, then it is the "banker's rules".

Don't make it a habit of becoming someone else's bank.  There are plenty of banks out there from which people can borrow with contracts, agreements and stipulations.  The rules are clear and relationships can stay intact.  Yes, as Christians we are required to be generous; we are not required to be fools.  Also, don't make it a habit of owing someone something all of the time.  It becomes part of your reputation and your character.  People will run from you when they see you coming!  And don't go getting mad when someone asks for what you owe them.

It is absolutely a blessing to be the lender and to live in abundance, but we have authority over our blessings, our financial decisions, and our bank accounts.  Use your authority wisely.

Psalm 37:21
The wicked borrow and do not repay, but the righteous give generously.

Ecclesiastes 5:5
It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it.

Deuteronomy 15:1-2
At the end of every seven years you must cancel debts. This is how it is to be done: Every creditor shall cancel the loan he has made to his fellow Israelite. He shall not require payment from his fellow Israelite or brother, because the LORD’s time for canceling debts has been proclaimed.